yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
