just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
