she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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