Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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