She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize