Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
