hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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