New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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