Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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