I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
