every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
