why didn't you poke me back
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
