ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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