I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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