What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
