And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...