I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize