.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles