The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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