Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever