Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha