i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day