whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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