the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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