I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Even the bartender felt bad for me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
