I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
