I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
