I hate your face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
