I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
