Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All the doctor said was why
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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