I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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