Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
