he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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