That's when you crack a 10am beer
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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