dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
