did you get engaged???
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
