In the future we'll all be gay
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
