As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
