I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
