I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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