So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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