You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
