found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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