she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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