Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
