haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
