My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
