Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
