It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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