I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
