i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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