the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I enjoy the company of your penis
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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