Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
