so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
this will be a night to untag.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
