i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
