Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
