Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
