he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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