Small penises have feelings too.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
