pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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