I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
