you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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