On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
