Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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