Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize